Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance... - So I pushed her over., What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance? - Lady Ba Ba, Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? - Because they're extinct., I was going to try an all almond diet, - but that's just nuts., I was making a joke about retirement. - It did not work., Why did the coffee taste like dirt? - Because it was ground just a few minutes ago., The duck said to the bartender, - "Put it on my bill", A bicycle can't stand on its own - because it is two-tired, I have a photographic memory. - I just haven't developped it yet., Time flies. - You can't. They go too fast.,

Puns and dad jokes

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