: "I tried cooking once. The firemen were really nice about it," said Tom., "Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday?" wondered Sarah., "I'm not lazy; I'm just on energy-saving mode," declared John., "My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do," said Lily., "If there’s a spider in the house, we can just burn it down," suggested Mark., "Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" asked Dave., "I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it," joked Emily., "I didn’t fall; the floor just needed a hug," claimed Jess., "Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice," said Karen., "Why don’t we just have cake for breakfast? It’s basically bread with frosting," said Tim., "Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!" exclaimed Mike., "I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong," teased Anna., "If I were rich, I’d buy a new brain because mine hurts from thinking," said Joe., "I don’t need a hairdresser; my pillow gives me a new style every morning," joked Sam., "If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel by now," sighed Olivia., "I would lose weight, but I don’t like losing," declared Chris., "I was going to clean my room, but then I got distracted by the internet," confessed Emma., "Why buy it for $7 when I can make it for $92 in craft supplies?" asked Lisa., "I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right," insisted Rob., "If you can’t remember my name, just call me ‘Pizza’. I’ll answer," laughed Jake.,

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